family dinner with dinner: a love story

Family dinner. One of the great challenges of modern parenting. I imagine that caveman parents struggled to find a dinner that satisfied picky eaters and budding vegetarians. It has only gotten harder since those days. We now have dual-career families and longer commutes, and the irresistible force of easier-than-ever food delivery that goes well beyond standard pizza.

Ironically, with family dinner far from my mind, I spotted Dinner: A Love Story by Jenny Rosenstrach in a kitchen store in Napa on a kid-free vacation. Intrigued by the idea of a cookbook full of dinners my then toddlers were sure to love, I ordered a copy. I was happy to discover that Dinner: A Love Story was so much more than just kid-friendly recipes.

photo by foodiesfeed

Dinner: A Love Story covered dinners for families of all sizes and combinations. After all, family doesn’t begin when you have two kids, a dog, and a house. For many of us, it begins with a table for two, when a blossoming romance moves from restaurant dates to cozy dinners at home. Maybe someone wants to prepare a romantic meal. Maybe that leads to cohabitation. Next thing you know there are separate little people living in your house, and you’re not entirely sure how they got there.

Dinner: A Love Story (or “DALS”) takes us through the many stages of family life through that timeless ritual — dinner. Whether family is just the two of you, or a crowd of hungry short people, this cookbook serves up simple ideas that get you sitting down for dinner, together.

Will Jenny’s advice, recipes, and survival strategies work for my family?  Here’s my view.

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Dinner, part one: rituals, relationships, repertoires

We start at the beginning with dinner for two. Most are simple enough to prepare after a long day of work, with a few sprinkles of leisurely weekend cooking or small dinner parties with friends. Then, like Jenny and her husband, Andy, we start getting adventurous. We invite friends over for dinner. Maybe even a dinner party. [Do people still do that?]

photo by Yvonne Lee Harijanto via unsplash

I confess, I still do that. Sometimes unbeknownst to those attending. I therefore particularly enjoyed “The Rules” of entertaining, because I remember them, try to follow them, and inevitably break them all the time.

• rule #1: never make something for company you haven’t made before
• rule #2: always read a recipe before you make it
• rule #3: select menus and dishes that require no “doneness” assessment
• rule #4: don’t let unfamiliar ingredients scare you off
• rule #5: don’t apologize if something goes wrong
• rule #6: in spite of the pain, remember, it is worth it

Part One inspired me to host one of those secret dinner parties and whip up the Braised Beef Short Ribs. This broke Rule #1, but as my friends Jen and Jeremy say, they don’t count as company. [Everyone needs friends like them.]

One summer evening, I followed rule #4 and conquered my unfamiliar ingredient fear with a bag of fresh Littleneck clams from Freeman’s Fish Market and went for it. These little guys were simply delicious in their shallot and white wine broth with rosemary ciabatta.

My view?  Jenny’s stories of learning to cook, from simple meals to survive blossoming careers, to strategies for finally hosting friends at home as proper adults, were a happy trip down memory lane.  I learned a few things along the way, and found inspiration for new meals with adult family and friends.

photo by jenn kosar

Dinner, part two: new parenthood

Part Two explores the joys of new parenthood and the accompanying food challenges. Recipes like Butternut Squash Soup with Apples and Turkey Chili were popular during my own baby stage, the product of “nesting recipes” made by a 9-month pregnant mom-to-be bored out of her mind waiting for first baby to arrive. While we’re long past calling ourselves new parents, the recipes here still inspired us to whip up simple, healthy meals at home. When the kids requested breakfast for dinner, mom and dad got a little sophistication from the Ricotta Omelette with Greens.

Part Two also gives plenty of ideas for pantry dinners assembled with quality ingredients on hand. The Quinoa with Fried Egg, Spinach and Soy Sauce inspired us to create delicious bowls of healthy grains, protein and vegetables with pantry staples we had on hand. We embraced the idea of deconstructed dinners, such as the Orecchiette with Sausage and Crispy Broccoli, as a way to get all the picky eaters gathering around mostly the same meal.

photo by jenn kosar

More important than the tips and recipes, Part Two was an honest discussion on both the merits and very real challenges of family dinner. Any parent that won’t openly admit to the constant struggle between the noble [and lofty] goal of getting a meal on the table that all parties will tolerate versus the more palatable achievement of pizza and an ice-cold martini is simply lying. I love that she doesn’t make it the mission to put healthy, repertoire-building meals on the table every night, but rather simply succeed more times than you fail. Or at least succeed enough to feel like you tried.

photo by foodiesfeed

Dinner, part three: family dinner

The light at the end of that very exhausting new parent tunnel is explored in Part Three. Here we begin the journey towards a true Family Dinner, where everyone actually eats [sort of] the same meal at [generally] the same time while [hopefully] engaging in pleasant conversation. As far-fetched as that sounds, at least DALS will arm you with family- and foodie-friendly recipes and menus that will take your home cooking to a happy place.

My family’s not quite in this zone yet, but we are getting there. In the meantime, the adults really enjoyed the Beluga Lentil Soup with Anchovies and the Kale with Avocado and Pickled Onions. The kids learned they love lamb chops. Everyone enjoyed the 30 Minute Pan-Roasted Chicken Thighs with Braised Leeks, as long as those suspicious looking leeks were hidden from view. I’m looking forward to autumn and the Baked Chicken in Creamy Tomato Sauce at a kids-welcome family dinner party. I’m sure Jen and Jeremy will volunteer for the experiment.

photo by jenn kosar

Dinner: a recap

I highly recommend DALS for the cook in your life, no matter where they are in their family journey. As someone who fondly remembers newlywed cooking, I loved reminiscing about the culinary journey Gary and I have taken together. As a parent, I loved Jenny’s two-out-of-three philosophy when it comes to family dinner: you won’t always achieve everyone together at the same table, with a wholesome meal that everyone is eating, but you can probably achieve two of three and call it a win.

One of my many parenting goals is to raise children who love food as much as we do, who respect and appreciate how it is made and what makes it good [or not], and who have a sense of adventure for new foods and a respect for culinary traditions and tastes of others. Consistently exposing the kids to high quality ingredients, even if it’s just farm-fresh applesauce, will build their appreciation for food.

Dinner: A Love Story motivated me to keep fighting the good fight, and reminded me that “good” food doesn’t have to be hard.

photo by jenn kosar

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I’m heading back into the kitchen for more meal planning, with Dinner: A Love Story as inspiration. If you want to learn more about Jenny or need some family dinner inspiration yourself, check out the Dinner: A Love Story blog or pick up a copy of the book for yourself. She has two more cookbooks: Dinner: The Playbook and How to Celebrate Everything for even more family meals and food rituals.

Don’t forget to check out my manuals pinterest board for what I’m reading next.

Have you tried recipes from Dinner: A Love Story?  What’s your favorite family dinner strategy? Share with the rest of us below!